Finding yourself

In Israel, the majority of people travel after the army to find themselves. Israelis don’t just dive into college, they process who they are and what they want. They see the world, grow their character, and see different cultures. However, in other countries, after high school, one goes straight to college and picks a major hoping it’ll be the right one suitable for the rest of their lives. During major milestones in life, it’s important to take some time out and reconnect with yourself. For example, how incredible would it be in the US if, after high school, everyone took a gap year before college? After high school, we are so eager to get into a good school, we never get a chance to learn about our values. Once we get into good schools, we sort of enter the system where landing the right job comes after then, of course, settling down, etc. Why do we rush things? We need to enjoy life and take things slow sometimes. 

What does success mean to you?

One thing I noticed in today’s world is that parents are very careful about how they raise their kids. They listen to a bunch of podcasts and read books on the perfect ways to raise a kid. Kids are lazy now. They don’t really want to go do things on their own and meet people. They are kind of okay just being lazy and living at home with technology. Parents used to get married at a much younger age in the past, so they didn’t really know how to raise kids. It just happened naturally. Now, parents get married at a later age and have kids at an age where they really prioritize the “how” they raise. Since kids are lazy, especially in a world where parents hold their hand on everything, will kids start asking their parents to find matches for them? May totally happen. I mean how do arranged marriages work? Basically, parents sign up with a broker and the broker gets criteria from the family on what kind of person they are looking for. Then, the broker will share his connections of candidates via profiles. The parents choose the attractive ones they like or with help of the kid. Then, the broker shares some bonus qualifications and they arrange a meeting. Essentially, part of this is already happening in the dating world today with the given automation and parents less involved…for now. A lot of individuals today don’t know what success is. Their definition of success is defined by their parents’ expectations. If they don’t have a good relationship with their parents, then their expectation comes from what their successful peers are doing. Like they should be working at a high-paying bank, or tech company, etc. Graduating from a good college is definitely one. So they hop on dating apps and look for other individuals with the same success factors. The app automates a lot of this, people go on more dates, and obviously, there’s the freedom to date and quit. But eventually, you will meet and marry one. Remember, all these options are derived from what you think success means in the first place. If you are choosing your partner based on what you perceive success should mean, your ability to pick a mate may also be flawed. However, there are individuals still out there who realize one day that success to them is something they need to define on their own. The only thing is hopefully, they learn what this is before it’s too late. 

Channel into Life’s Gifts

When you stop following others’ dreams and live out of your own curiosity, I think real life begins. “The I don’t knows” in life is where the real learnings are. When we choose the easy route, life will seem nice. However, if you always take the happy path, you will never learn and grow. If your life is based on a bunch of goals you have created, you are living in the past. Why not take the shots you know nothing about and let yourself unleash the unknown limitless possibilities life has to offer. Sometimes, have no expectations and just live. However, this means you are now going to swim against the current that the people around you have forged for you. If you don’t accept change in life, you aren’t living. Whatever choice you make in life, just remember, that you need to own it, don’t let the negative comments and distractions get in the way, and push forward. Ask yourself what identities you’ve given yourself and actually question if these are accurate or not. Strip down everything you know about yourself till you discover your core values. Once you’ve done this, you can begin to live a purposeful life.